Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5 NAS
It’s the stock women’s ministry passage. But there is precious treasure from even the most well known Scriptures, waiting to be mined into our hearts.
For women, a million and one different demands, needs, voices, and activities press in on our focus and energy. God, in His understanding, knew that as women we would have a unique need for a singular focus. And He graciously provides it for us! The rest of the world tells us we need to be record breaking career women, chart topping wives, and history making moms. God tells us just one simple point of service to focus on. Love your husband, love your children and in so many words, love “home.” Then pass on the ingredients for that recipe to the younger women around you.
In a world of broken families, I can’t think of anything that stands out more in our culture than a whole and joyful family. I think for us women, perhaps our key discipleship goal is also our biggest evangelism leverage. When our marriages, children and family relationships bear the mark of Christ, the people around us take notice. When those relationships look just as broken as the next guy’s, they don’t. Not only do those relationship ties not reflect Christ to the world, but that brokenness in turn goes further than that – it undermines and maligns the Word of God!
I’m not saying this for ANYONE to get down about the imperfections and flaws of their family, or their own relationship failings! Please hear me! What I am saying is that in the midst of all of our brokenness and failings, Christ is meant to shine through as Redeemer, Healer, Rescuer, Father, Husband, Brother and Friend! Is He visible to those around you? What can you do to magnify Him in those relationships, in your testimony about those relationships, in your thought life, prayers and feelings about all those relationships?
Women who teach are called to the same qualifications as the men in the church (see the previous verses). But it is unto a different goal. The older women need their behavior and mouths in check SO THAT they can teach the younger women about their precious role in the family. Not so that they can bake a thousand cookies for the bake sale. Or so that they can administrate the best church rummage sale ever. Or so that they can organize a breath-taking VBS. Nope. Just so they can teach the younger women about their precious place.
The writer of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Harriett Beecher Stowe, also wrote a book with her sister, Catherine, titled The American Women’s Home. It was published in 1869. In it the Beecher sisters lay out the predicament of women, that the duties of a woman (as a homemaker) are under valued by society because society has rejected and misunderstood the humility of Christ and the calling of Christians to serve. Because the station is under valued, women are thus not well trained in what is considered by so many to be a menial and dreary task. (Sound familiar? I guess there really isn’t much new under the sun!) Since they (and we) have been trained to look at service disdainfully, we entirely miss the blessing in serving our families and home life.
It seems like we’ve long missed the preciousness of our role. We’ve kicked against it, kicked through it, put our boots on and walked all over it. Eve wanted more. Apparently the New Testament women might have had some of those same feelings. Women from the Civil War era felt that same tug in their bones. And we still do today.
Serving is hard. Being a wife and mom who serves as unto Christ takes everything we’ve got to give. Yet perhaps it is our greatest testimony and best goal of discipleship. Perhaps if we could fully embrace that service without cringing (and without warping it into an idol or a groveling role that Christ never meant for us) we might find new horizons of ministry we never imagined.
PS – The word love in the passage isn’t the usual agape love to describe sacrifice. It’s phileo. A love that flows freely from affection and tenderness. God knows moms and wives will sacrificially put their lives on the line for their families without a second thought, but what about putting your heart into them? Your whole heart and all your affections?
- How are you tending your first ministry?
- How are you cultivating an attitude that reflects Christ’s heart toward service?
- How does your church/women’s ministry support women in their Biblical ministry to their family and homes?
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